The Open File - Kibitzing
Submitted by
NM Zug on Tue, 04/21/2009 at 12:56pm.
The Open File
by Life Master Mike Petersen (Zug)
Kibitzing
The other day at my local club I was watching a few guys play speed chess. It was particularly enjoyable to listen to all the banter that went on during the games. The most vocal, of course, were those who were watching and waiting their turn to play. The two playing were much too busy trying to find decent moves to say very much. By now you know that I am talking about kibitzing. By the way, it is pronounced KIB-its-ing, not kib-ITS-ing. Webster defines a kibitzer as "one who looks on and often offers unwanted advice, especially at a card game." It's obvious that Mr. Webster wasn't a chess player!
It's impossible to watch anyone you know play speed chess without indulging yourself in a little light-hearted kibitzing. As a matter of fact, it's expected at our club. A good kibitzer is respected. How many times do you find yourself repeating a particularly good comment you heard one of the "master kibitzers" use? Think about it...you know who the good kibitzers are at your club.
Of course, anyone can kibitz while watching, but the real trick is to do it while you’re playing. A couple of the more well-known phrases to use while playing are "Black passed pawns travel faster than White" and to substitute a silly word in place of "Check" like "Chocolate" or to say "In check" when you give check and "Outta check" when you move out of check. One I like to use when I have a couple of passed pawns steamrolling down the board is an imitation of the sound you hear during the video game "Space Invaders." It goes something like "DUN-dun, DUN-dun, DUN-dun". Or, when you take some material for free with check (with more to follow), you say "Watch this! My queen is gonna play PACMAN on your pieces! Gulp! Gulp!" Another one is to wait until your opponent has to capture a piece on his back rank with one of his Rooks. If he hesitates, even for a moment, you pounce with "No matter which Rook you use, it will be the WRONG ONE!" Bobby Fischer was a World Class kibitzer. He would say "Checky Bobby" for check and liked to whistle "Colonel Bogey" from the movie "Bridge on the River Kwai" when he was running a passed pawn down the board. It would not be unfair to say that kibitzing involves as much clever bantering as it does unwanted advice.
It is possible to get very good at kibitzing with just a little work. All you have to do is listen to the good kibitzers for awhile, and then add a few clever remarks of your own to fill out your repertoire. Then, just like playing, the only way to get better is to practice, practice, practice! Some like to develop their kibitzing to the point where their opponents give up the game in disgust. That may be going just a little too far.
Anyway, the point is that kibitzing can be elevated to an art form, just like chess! There is an old story about a country that used to give their candidates for foreign ambassador a fiendish test. They would leave the candidate in a room with two people who were playing a game of chess and secretly observe the proceedings. The one who did NOT kibitz was deemed worthy of the title of a REAL diplomat and statesman, the others were dismissed.
Hmm ... maybe our governments should take a lesson here.
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